


Circum Nocte

by thatviciousvixen



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Circus, Circus Vampires?, M/M, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 03:22:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7083139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatviciousvixen/pseuds/thatviciousvixen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peel back the curtain, step inside. There's something strange about the performers in this traveling circus, and audiences come in droves but they don't always leave.</p><p>**Edit to include Big Bang Art accompaniment.**</p>
            </blockquote>





	Circum Nocte

**Author's Note:**

> For the Kylux Big Bang 2016! Art by [Hydrajen](http://hydrajen.tumblr.com), who is not only an incredible artist but a phenomenal human being and a total bud. Thanks to the ever amazing [Ocktorok](http://ocktorok.tumblr.com) for whipping me into shape and keeping a running list of words I overuse. My amazing [girlfriend](http://prittleprince.tumblr.com) stepped in to talk me off my ledge and point out plot holes so I didn't start screaming at my computer like a crazy person.

Circuses are a liminal space. A bridge between severe, everyday life and a fairy land where colors are brighter, emotions are more intense, and there isn’t enough time to experience all that’s being offered. The air smells of a strange mixture of salty, buttered popcorn and fresh hay. Crowds of people bustle and press together, their anticipation thick in the air. Ben would be anxious if he weren’t so annoyed at being dragged here in the first place.

Beside him, Rey shoves a mass of fluffy pink cotton candy in her mouth, bits of whispy sugar sticking to her lips until she licks it off. “I haven’t been to one of these in ages,” she muses. Poe and Finn nod their agreement, hands linked together in a sickeningly sweet display of affection. Ben resists the urge to roll his eyes.

“That’s because we’re adults who have better things to be doing,” he suggests, hoping he sounds as bitter and put-out as he feels. He had a full night planned for himself, old Iron Chef Japan reruns and cold pizza and maybe a beer if he was feeling feisty. Instead he’s here, standing a head above the crowd as they wind their way through.

Finn scoffs, clearly resisting the urge to roll his own eyes. Of their group he’s the least likely to put up with Ben’s attitude. “This place is full of adults, Ben. Maybe stop complaining long enough to have a look around?”

Before they can get into it Poe chimes in with his patented form of peacekeeping. “It’s nostalgia,” he says, a lazy grin on his face as he moves his hand to rub the small of Finn’s back. “It’s fun no matter how old you are, like going ice skating.” He steps out of the way as a child races past, clutching a wad of cash in her hand on her way to a cart selling sno-cones. “Besides, it’s something to do. I know what your ‘plans’ were and this is going to be a lot more fun.”

Ben has to admit to himself that he does - sometimes - have fun on these little adventures of theirs. When he moved in with his cousin and her friends he’d been adamant that he’d keep to himself in his room, socialize as little as possible until it was clear he wasn’t part of the “gang.” Now he’s part of the gang and, despite his surly attitude and dour outlook on life, they seem to enjoy having him around. Most of the time. Except for Finn.

Rey shoves another mouthful of overwhelming pink into her mouth as she scans the crowd. She’s debating on what kitschy, tacky memorabilia she can bring home, Ben can tell. Before she gets the chance to blow her money on something ridiculous - a souvenir program, a baseball cap, a weird light up yoyo that plays music while it spins - he gestures to the archway leading into the main auditorium. “Come on, let’s go get our seats before everyone starts swarming in.”

They pull out their tickets and step through the thick curtain that separates the lobby from the actual performance area, searching the rows until they find their seats. Ben is surprised by how small the venue is from the inside. When they’d found a place on the outskirts of the field to park, the tent had seemed so large, so imposing. Instead of a mess of garish-looking stripes it was a deep, royal purple, almost midnight black under the moonlight. Here inside it's so simple. There's a basic system of bars and rigging above for high-wire acts, a large circular performance area laid with the same dirt as the entrance, and that's about it. The chairs for the audience are cheap and vaguely uncomfortable.

“This seems weird,” Ben murmurs to Rey, looking up at the lighting above. “It's so...basic.”

Rey rolls her eyes and finishes the last of her cotton candy. “Not everything is Ringling Brothers, Ben.”

He huffs at the dismissal and falls back into a wary silence. Beside him his roommates make comfortable conversation but he continues to bask in the gentle feeling of unease, taking in the audience around him as they wait for the show to begin. No one else seems to share his discomfort. Fortunately, before he can dwell on it for too long the show begins. He can’t help but grin as Rey sits up straight in her excitement, clutching one of his large hands between both of hers as the lights dim and someone walks into a spotlight in the middle of the arena.

The stranger isn’t what Ben had expected of someone leading a circus. He’s dressed down, his scuffed jeans worn but well-fitted, and the sleeves of his white button-up rolled to his elbow. His shoes are shiny and black and pointed at the toe. No red coat with tails, no tall black top hat. Just a man in normal clothes standing before them. He is, however, sensationally beautiful. Maybe that’s the trick. Maybe he doesn’t need to dress like a fool, because the audience is too drawn to his pale skin and red hair that glows orange under the spotlight. He’s willowy, thin. Ben can tell all the way from his seat that his hands are slim and his fingers are long, and he swears he can see a smattering of freckles across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose.

“He’s so pale,” Rey whispers. “He looks like he’s sick or something.”

Ben has nothing bright to add. “He’s...pretty,” he says, and for a moment it seems that the man looks in his direction and catches his eye. He blushes and sinks lower into his seat.

He introduces himself as Hux. No other name, just Hux. The syllable seems to hiss off of his tongue.

“Ladies and gentlemen…” Hux smiles wide as he speaks, hands clasped in front of him as if he himself is eager for the show to begin. “Thank you for joining us today. You’ll notice that there are no bells and whistles here, no pretense or distractions to fool your eye and make this all seem more amazing than it actually is. We’re simple people, with only our natural talents to our names. What you will see today is astounding, mesmerizing even, and it’s all real. If for a moment you don’t believe, I encourage you to find us after the show and let us convince you. We won’t let a soul leave without being properly astounded.” He grins as if this is more of a threat than a promise. His eyes sweep the crowd, taking every face before him. “With that…I give you Phasma.”

He bows and leaves the stage, and the real show begins.

It doesn’t take long to see why the troupe doesn’t need distraction or sleight of hand. From the first act the audience sits on the edge of their seats, watching with hungry eyes at what takes place before them. “Phasma” is a strapping blonde woman who stalks out in jeans and a black tank top that shows off the impressive muscles in her arms. Her short hair is swept to one side and buzzed underneath, and her face is handsome but grim. She looks like she could be a bouncer at a strip club or a gay bar or something. She seems bored as she begins her act.

At first it’s a simple strong-man routine. She lifts impressive-looking weights, barely even flexing as she lifts them over her head, swings them around, sets them down as if they weigh nothing. With a yawn she tears a phone book in half, which is approximately when Rey whispers, “I want to be her!” as she hugs Ben’s arm with unrestrained glee. Then things start to escalate. Each feat of strength is more and more astounding, until she goes as far as bringing a group of audience members down to sit on a bench which she promptly lifts over her head. The onlookers go wild, standing and whistling and clapping until their hands sting as she puts them down, giving a lazy bow before stalking off stage.

“No,” Rey whispers, hands clasped near her chest in delight. “I don’t want to be her, I want to _marry_ her.”

Finn laughs. “I’ll start planning the wedding.”

The show continues to amaze. There’s a woman named Unamo who dances and skips along a wire stretched high above the crowd, performing flips and spins that ought to send her falling to her death. She lands each move with grace, smiling serenely as she waves and blows kisses to the audience. A boy named Thanisson (“Such weird names,” Poe whispers) does a contortion act, body bending in ways that shouldn’t be possible. There’s even a sword swallower, a man named Mitaka who smiles shyly before taking dangerously sharp blades down his throat with ease. It makes even Ben tense up, gripping the edge of his seat until each object is safely removed and tucked away.

By the time intermission hits they’re all turning eagerly to each other, chattering at once with wide eyes as they discuss what they’re seeing.

“He wasn’t kidding,” Finn says. He gestures wildly as he talks, something he does when he’s excited. “They really don’t need all the bells and whistles, they’re actually good! That lady who did the balancing act? There were like, six times I thought she was going to die for sure.”

“I can’t get over the sword swallower,” Ben says, shuddering. “I’m pretty sure none of that was physically possible? I swear that last sword was longer than his torso, how was that even real?”

Rey is beaming as she looks up at her cousin. “See? I told you it would be a good time.”

Ben snorts, putting his large hand on her face and gently pushing her away as the lights dim to signal the end of the break.

The next person to walk out is the man from the beginning, Hux. “Our next act requires some audience participation. I’ll need an assistant.” The lights come up for a moment as he scans the crowd, ignoring a sea of eager faces and waving hands one by one before he settles on Ben. “You.”

Ben’s stomach drops. His blood runs cold through his veins. He’s never been one for crowds and public speaking is a nightmare to him; the idea of getting up in front of such a large group is the worst thing he could possibly imagine. Especially to stand near someone he’s already decided is the most attractive man he’s ever seen. He turns to Rey – who’s looking at him with sheer joy – and takes her hand pleadingly. “Go, please go,” he whispers. “You know I can’t.”

The smooth voice before them speaks again, soft and low and just barely audible. “Come on, I promise I won’t bite.” Ben turns back to see the man studying him closely, his hand extended in invitation. A strange sort of calm washes over him as he meets ocean-blue eyes, slowing his heart and quieting his mind. With a deep breath he stands, forcing his feet to move one in front of the other, step by step, as he walks down from their row into the bright lights of the ring.

It’s a bizarre feeling. The lights are so bright that they blind him to anything beyond, the audience a dark blur that he can’t quite to make out. He searches for Rey but can’t find her despite knowing exactly where she’s sitting. A hand lightly touches his elbow and he turns to face Hux. This close Ben can make out every freckle on his skin, the exact color of his eyes and the pale pink of his lips. He swallows hard and tries not to let his nerves seep back in.

“What’s your name?” Hux asks, grinning. He’s eying Ben like a wolf would eye a wounded deer.

“It’s um. It’s Ben.” Ben flushes bright red. He sounds like an idiot. Still, Hux doesn’t seem to mind as he gives an encouraging smile and turns back to the audience.

“Thanks for joining me, Ben. Are you from nearby?”

“Y-yeah?”

Hux gives another nod, turning back to him. “And tell me, Ben. Do you believe in hypnotism?”

Ben hears a loud “WOO!” from the crowd that he’s fairly sure is Rey. He swallows hard and shrugs. “I guess, yeah.”

Hux’s smile grows predatory once more. “Good. Look into my eyes, Ben.”

Despite how terribly shy he feels, Ben does his best to obey. He meets Hux’s gaze, that strange sort of green blue, noticing the little flecks of gold that scatter throughout. He can’t help but notice how pale Hux’s eyelashes are, they would barely be visible if not for the way they glint under the bright spotlight. Tongue darting out to lick his lips, he gives a small nod.

“Good.” Hux smiles like a snake about to open his jaw. “Now sleep.”

 

 

*

He comes back to as they drive away, jerking and gasping as he presses a hand to his pounding heart. “What the hell?”

Rey looks over wide-eyed, gripping the steering wheel for dear life. “What? What the hell, what’s going on?”

Ben looks around, a prickle of fear sparking at the nape of his neck. “How. Um. How did we get...here?” he asks meekly. He can already hear how crazy he must sound, but in a matter of seconds he’s gone from standing under the bright lights with Hux to sitting in the passenger seat of his cousin’s car as they drive through the city.

Poe leans up from the back, poking his head between their seats. “Are you okay man?” he asks, frowning as he tries to see Ben’s face. His angle’s all wrong and it’s too dark anyway, a relief to Ben who wants nothing more than to disappear entirely.

“No, I’m not okay,” Ben says, clenching his teeth. “I don’t. What happened?”

Apparently Rey is worried enough to pull over. She reaches up to flick on the cabin light, watching him closely. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

He closes his eyes, taking a slow breath in through his nose and out through his mouth. It won’t do to have a panic attack. He can’t be weak in front of them. “I um. I was standing with that Hux guy. He asked me if I believed in hypnotism, and then...then he told me to sleep.”

“You...don’t remember coming back to your seat? Leaving?” Even Finn sounds worried, and he barely tolerates Ben half of the time. “That’s...uh. Rey?”

Rey shakes her head, her eyes wide and alarmed. “I’m taking you to the hospital. I think you had a seizure.”

“That makes no sense though,” Poe tries to reason. “It has to have something to do with the hypnotism thing. Maybe it takes a while to wear off? I’ll look it up on my phone, hold on.” Ben can hear the tap-tap-tap of fingers against a screen as Poe tries to get to the bottom of the mystery. His head is still spinning.

“Just...just don’t,” he pleads. “I bet Poe is right. Can we go home? I’m just tired, I’m sure once I sleep I’ll feel better.”

Rey looks like she doesn’t believe him in the least, but she flicks off the light and gets the car back on the road. They drive in silence, and the entire way home Ben thinks of the strange man with ember-red hair and a smile that looked like he could eat Ben whole.

*

It’s hard to shake the feeling that he’s walking around in a fog for the rest of the night. Every time Ben manages to get the show out of his mind, turning his thoughts to preparing for sleep, the memory of copper red hair and a dangerously smooth voice tears him away from the present.

Rey peeks her head in just as he’s sliding under the covers, her pixie-face still twisted in concern as she studies him. “Hey. Are you going to be alright?”

Ben offers a smile that he hopes is convincing, glad the lights in his room are out. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? It was just weird is all, it’s worn off now. I’m just embarrassed that I caused this big scene about it.” It’s a lie, but it’s an effective one. She knows of his anxiety, his hatred of too much attention.

“Alright. I just wanted to make sure. Breakfast tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ll take you to Ihop,” he says, yawning. “G’night, Rey.”

“Night, Benny.” The door shuts with a soft click and he’s left in complete darkness to wrestle with his thoughts. It takes him a while to fall asleep. He's afraid of once more being unaware of the world around him.

*

The five o'clock news blares loudly on the TV in the living room, but Finn and Poe are too busy cuddling and being disgustingly sweet with each other to hear about the group of locals that went missing the night before. Ben tries to hunch over and creep past them, making a bee-line for the front door.

“Do you have a date?”

Ben looks over at Poe, frowning as he smooths down his shirt. It's really not anything special, just a black v-neck over black skinny jeans, but it's such a departure from his usual slouchy hoodie that his roommates take notice. His hair is pulled back and he's used that fancy soap of Rey's that smells like grapefruit and a fresh breeze or some shit. He doesn't know, it just smells good.

“I uh. Yeah. Date,” he says slowly, deciding the lie is better than listening to everyone freak out that he's going to see Hux again. He needs to see his act from the outside, to make sure that it wasn't just him behaving so foolishly. But he doesn't need them to know that. “Some guy I know from my Victorian Prose class.”

Rey comes out of the kitchen beaming, and Ben immediately feels like garbage. “That's so excellent! You look awesome. Find some reason to lift something heavy, they go crazy for those muscles.”

Ben makes a face. “Rey.”

“She's not wrong,” Finn points out from them couch. “Dudes love a good set of biceps.”

“Thanks for the input guys,” he snorts, grabbing the keys to his beat up Ford Ranger. “I'll see you later.”

He remembers the route to the field well enough on his own, and in no time he sees the dim glow coming from the circus tent. There are even more cars than the night before - word must be spreading about the quality of the acts and the consistency of the talent. He's not shocked. The show really was excellent. As he moves through the crowd and past the lobby - with its swirling noise and lights and smells - he listens in on the chatter around him.

“-the strong woman is apparently amazing, she can lift a whole bench of people-”

“-and there’s no net underneath. No wires. She could die!”

“They say he swallows a sword that’s too long to reasonably fit, how do you think-”

“-and then the kid is just. Totally entranced. On his knees, confessing his love, the audience loved it.”

Ben stops, a cold chill passing through his body. He hadn’t asked his roommates what he’d done while he was under, he didn’t really want to know. Hearing a small hint of it makes him feel ill. Still, he presses on to find his seat, something much closer than where they’d been the night before.

He takes a breath. It's closer this time, he'll be able to get a better look at the proceedings, every move and tiny gesture as Hux ensnares another helpless victim. He's ready.

The show goes off much as it did the night before, the acts are flawless and intense and the audience is on the edge of its seat, every person holding their breath as they anticipate disaster with each feat of strength or test of daring. Ben finds himself just as drawn in as he was during the show the night before. Every act is just as thrilling, every performer just as beautiful. Perhaps even more so now that he sits in anxiety over what’s to come.

Finally Hux returns for his own performance. Ben holds his breath and watches.

But nothing comes.

It doesn’t make sense. The audience had eaten the bit up the night before, and according to the chatter outside they’d been eager to see it today. Instead Hux simply thanks the audience, invites them back, and smiles as the lights go dark. When they come back up for the crowd to leave, Hux is gone.

Ben feels a sort of panic in the pit of his stomach, something that unfurls and grows into a directionless anger. He’s been made a fool of. He doesn’t know how, and he doesn’t know why, but he was chosen for some strange, elaborate prank that has no place in the actual show. He wants to scream, to find this Hux character and push him against the nearest wall and find out why he was humiliated and what’s been done to his brain. Did his roommates have anything to do with this? Maybe Finn, who’s never liked him much anyway, or Poe, who doesn’t quite know the line between harmless and humiliating?

He grips his keys so tightly in his hand that they cut into his skin, the teeth leaving indentations against his palm. He already knows as he pulls out of the parking lot and drives away that he’ll be back the next night, and the night after that if he has to. He’ll come back again and again until he understands.

He’s on his fourth visit when Hux notices him in the crowd.

There’s no grand show of it, just a passing moment where the performer’s eyes meet Ben’s, pause, and then flicker away. Ben knows he’s been spotted and he’s glad for it. Let Hux stew, wonder if Ben’s realized the trick.

This time he hangs around, watching as people stream out in clusters on their way to the exit. They show the same level of enthusiasm as each audience before; eyes are wide, smiles are bright, hands and arms swing around as people gesture wildly. Ben wishes he could share in their carefree consumption of the show. He still feels sick though, baffled by the sudden lack of a grand finale. He wanders out into the parking lot, taking his time as the crowd thins and cars begin to pull from the lot into the dirt road that will take them through the woods and back into town.

“Enjoy the show that much?”

Ben jumps, turning quickly to see Hux standing behind him with an amused grin on his face. When Ben had seen him under the stage lights he'd seemed to glow, skin bright and hair aflame. In the moonlight he's just as lovely, but somehow softer, smaller. His pale skin is almost white and his hair softens to a rose-gold. His eyes though, they're just as bright.

“Why haven't you hypnotized anyone else since me?” he blurts out, finding that Hux's mere presence makes him feel jumpy, awkward. “You...the act was popular, I heard people talking about it. But you haven't done it since.”

Hux smiles curiously, tilting his head as he studies Ben. A strange silence stretches between him, and after some time Ben starts to wonder if he should make some sort of excuse, run for his car and never come back. Before he gets the chance Hux answers.

“I'm sure people enjoyed it, they always do. But I was just a stand in for the night. One of our other performers was sick, we needed another act to lengthen the show.” Hux grins, raising an eyebrow. “Did you...have you been tormented by that since opening night? I've seen you in the crowd, I thought perhaps you were enamored with the show or wanted to get into Phasma’s pants or something.”

Ben answers without thinking. “I'm not...she's not my type.” Why the hell did he say that? Why is he here? With a deep breath he pulls out his keys, biting his lip. “I just had to check. I'm sorry to bother you. Bye.” Face on fire with shame, he tries to put as much distance as he can between he and Hux.

“Ben?”

Heart thudding in his chest, Ben turns. “Yeah?”

Hux smiles, something so predatory that he might as well lick his lips. “See you tomorrow.”

*

Rey watches with wide eyes as Ben comes downstairs, shaking her head. “Another date?”

Ben groans and snatches his keys from the hook.

*

“You seem awfully big for such a little town.”

They're at the outskirts of the field, Hux sitting on the top slat of a rickety looking fence as Ben leans against it. The tent looks small in the distance, and with the crowd gone everything is cast in an eerie glow. Hux had led him here without a word, simply casting a knowing glance in Ben's direction before walking away. Ben had followed like an eager puppy.

He looks down at himself, taking in his long, spindly legs and over-large feet. “I mean. I'm not the only tall person in Ocala.”

Hux laughs, rolling his eyes skyward as if looking for guidance. “I don't mean physically, you ass. I mean mentally. Spiritually. You seem stuck here.”

Ben shrugs. “It's where I am, I guess. There's no reason for me to leave.” He's been letting Hux guide the conversation this far, too busy taking in the graceful slope of his neck, how good he looks in old jeans and a flannel shirt propped up on the old wood of the fence. It feels strange talking about himself to someone so...interesting. Hux has probably seen so much, met so many different people. Ben has been in this stupid town his entire life. “I have a decent job here working at a small airport some rich guy owns. My family is here. I guess there's no point in going anywhere else.”

“And you've never wanted to see the world?” Hux asks, frowning. He almost looks upset that Ben is so settled.

Ben contemplates the question. “I've never really had anyone to see it with.”

Silence settles between them, Hux watching Ben, Ben watching the stars as he pretends not to notice. Finally a hand reaches over, taking his. “Jesus your hand is cold,” Ben gasps. He jerks, but doesn’t pull away. Hux’s touch feels like a gift. He’s not going to turn it away.

Hux smiles serenely. “I've been told. Come on, I need to get something from my trailer.” He hops off the fence, tugging Ben in the direction of the tent. On the side opposite the parking lot there's a cluster of trailers and tents, grouped in a circle around a bonfire that one of the performers must have lit. They sit in a group warming themselves, chatting or reading or playing music as the night slips into the small hours of the morning. Ben sees the tall woman - Phasma - sitting with the woman from the high wire, their fingers linked loosely together as they stare absently into the flame. The one he's come to know as Mitaka strums idly at a guitar while the small contortionist sings a song in a language he doesn't recognize. Various faces he's yet to have seen mill about, interacting, slipping into their traveling homes and paying no mind to the two men weaving their way through the crowd. Finally, Hux leads Ben into an old looking camper, pulling the door shut behind them.

Ben looks around the trailer, shocked by how a space so small can seem so lush. Hux has clearly taken great pains to make his accommodations worthy of his solitude. There’s no kitchen, no sitting area, no small table to eat dinner at. Against the far wall is the largest bed that can possibly fit, a soft looking thing with mountains of pillows piled in the corners. Ben can see at least three blankets draped over the mattress; it makes sense, Hux’s skin is so damn cold. To the left of the door is a small closet that appears to have been built in as an afterthought, a small, bare bulb hanging in front of it to shed light on the contents within. The walls are draped with various fabrics, rich and warm and thick enough to block out any light that may try to seep in while Hux is sleeping.

“It’s...cozy,” Ben stammers, unsure of what else to say.

Hux chuckles, flicking on a light and kicking the door shut. “It’s small, but it serves its purpose. Would you like something to drink?”

Ben shakes his head, feeling too large as he stands in the middle of the trailer. He opens and closes his hands a few times, waiting for Hux to guide him in some way. To show him what to do, with a word or with the slightest wave of his hand.

Sitting on the edge of his bed, Hux watches him curiously. “What do you want, then?”

It's enough of an invitation to ask the question that's been plaguing him for days. “Am I still hypnotized? Are you...are you forcing me to follow you around like this?”

There's a moment of genuine shock on Hux's face, his strange, shifting eyes widening fractionally as he looks up at Ben. The expression falls into one of extreme distaste. “No, I'm not coercing you into some silly obsession with me. The hypnosis ended when you left the tent that night. I don't need to trick people into wanting me.”

Ben can feel his face go red, the heat and shame creeps down his cheeks to warm his chest and the back of his neck. “No, I just. I had to. Check.” He hangs his head. “I'm sorry.”

Silence settles heavy between them, and Ben is seconds away from turning and leaving. Finally Hux stands and approaches him in the middle of the floor. “I'll forgive it. Just this once.” A cool hand reaches up, stroking his hair back from his face. “Now. What do you _want_?”

Ben swallows and the world seems to slow around them. “I want to kiss you.”

Hux smiles. Ben feels like he’s stepped right into some sort of trap. “That is a much better answer.”

Hux moves close, so near that Ben is mesmerized by the golden-red flicker of his eyelashes every time he blinks. Their mouths meet soft and slow, the barest hint of a taste before Hux pulls away and grins. “You’ve got a beautiful mouth, Ben. I wonder, what sort of trouble does it get you into?”

His mouth moves before he has too much time to think about it. “All kinds.”

Another kiss is pressed to his mouth. This time Hux teases his mouth open, licking along his lower lip before pressing his tongue just inside. Ben’s never been kissed like this before. It’s like being hypnotised all over again. His mind is slowly melting, turning into a puddle of nothing as he submits to Hux’s will. With a sharp push from deceptively strong hands he finds himself sitting on the edge of the bed, Hux moving forward to straddle his strong thighs.

“I’ve got a feeling you like being told what to do, Ben,” Hux says softly, tucking an errant strand of hair behind Ben’s ear. “Is that true?”

Ben can feel his face go hot. “Not usually.”

Hux quirks an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Um. But. I want _you_ to tell me what to do.” The admission makes Ben feel like he ought to hide his face, turn away from such a shameful confession of his own weakness and his obsession with someone he barely knows. He can’t though, because Hux is cupping his jaw in his hands and forcing him to look. Suddenly more words are spilling out, coaxed by gentle lips brushing along his cheekbones, his jaw, the bridge of his nose. “Because you're gorgeous. I can’t stop thinking about you. There’s something not...not normal about you and I can’t focus on anything else and I feel like an idiot right now because I can’t stop talking but I just. This is what you do to me.”

Hux grins, running his palms flat along Ben’s chest before gripping his shirt and pulling it over his head. “Do you often make your move by telling people they’re abnormal?”

“No! No. I mean, you’re normal, of course you’re normal. You’re just. Beautiful.”

The smile softens as Hux tosses Ben’s shirt away, moving to unbutton his own. “That’s better.” Once they’re both bare from the waist up he leans in, kissing Ben in a way that has his toes curling inside his beat up black Chucks. It’s hot, hungry, and without realizing it Ben moves his hands up to grip Hux’s soft red hair in his fists. Their lips part as their tongues tangle together, licking and tasting like they can’t get enough of each other.

Hux pulls away first, eyes glinting in the dim light. “Take off your pants. Lie on your back.” As Ben scrambles to obey Hux stands, stripping off his own faded jeans and tossing them to the side. He’s perfect. His skin is ivory-pale and dusted with the softest hint of freckles along his shoulders and the tops of his arms, his hips and his thighs. Ben wants to kiss each mark, memorize the map across his skin by touch alone. But he’s been told to lie back, and he’ll obey.

Hux crawls into the bed to join him, eyes raking over Ben’s lean and muscular form. “My goodness. Aren’t you pretty.” He strokes a cool touch along Ben’s stomach, smiling as the muscles flutter and contract under his hand. Fingertips skim lightly over Ben’s thighs, petting the sensitive skin inside, skating back up to press his thumbs into the gentle slope beside Ben’s hipbone. “You’re a strapping young thing, aren’t you? It’s a sin you ever have to wear clothes.”

Swallowing hard, Ben wills himself to stay calm as his cock fills and lengthens under the praise. He bites at his bottom lip, shrugging one awkward shoulder. “I don’t know, you’re absolutely perfect…” He can’t help but reach out to touch, taking Hux’s hand and bringing it to his lips to kiss along his knuckles. “Can I...fuck you?”

“Oh.” Hux laughs lightly as if surprised by the question. “Oh believe me, that’s the plan.” Swinging his leg over Ben’s thighs, he ruts his own length against him as he reaches under the pillow to retrieve a bottle of lube. “How could I possibly see such a big, pretty cock and not ride it until you’re begging my name?”

Ben moans softly. Good thing he’s young and in relatively good health, otherwise his heart might give out right then and there. He slides his palms along Hux’s thighs before moving up to grip his shoulders and pull him down for another kiss. “I want you so bad,” he pants, sucking at Hux’s pale pink lips, reaching between his thighs to grasp his length and stroke teasingly. Ben may not be great with people, he may be awkward and lanky and emotionally stunted, but this he knows. The right way to touch, the words to say to make a man want him. He can do this.

Hux moans softly, popping the lube open with a soft click. He slicks his own fingers before reaching back to circle his own entrance. “Mm, you're dangerous, aren’t you?” he sighs, eyes fluttering shut as he presses in past the tight ring of muscle. “Can’t go getting attached.”

For a strange second Ben thinks that he’d like nothing more. Then his thoughts are consumed by the filthy image of Hux fingering himself open, the soft way he sighs and pants and presses down on his fingers. A small, quiet part of his brain shouts out in alarm at how fast this is happening, but Ben is quick to silence that piece of himself. Instead he strokes pale thighs, teases his fingertips over a flat stomach, reaching up to pinch flushed nipples and roll them between his thumb and forefinger. Hux cries out softly at that, head dropping forward as he continues to work himself open.

“A-ah, Ben,” he gasps, biting hard into his lower lip. “Condom, condom is under the pillow, hurry…”

Ben scrambles to do as told, quickly tearing into the little foil packet and rolling the condom down his length. He’s desperate for this, damn near starving to know the feeling of Hux’s tight body around him. There’s a soft, obscenely wet noise as Hux withdraws his fingers, and then he’s shuffling up to kneel over Ben’s cock.

“I think I’ve wanted this since the moment I saw you in the crowd,” Hux slurs, reaching down to steady Ben’s length. He lowers himself slowly, oh so slowly, and suddenly Ben is pressing into his slick heat and throwing his head back as he gasps and moans. “You were...mmm….you were so lovely, so lost in the sea of faces. You wanted to disappear and I couldn’t let you.”

Hux is so impossibly beautiful that Ben can’t tear his eyes away from every small, fleeting expression on his face. Hux gasps as he gives a filthy little grind down against Ben’s hips. It’s already too much. Hux is so tight, so perfect, Ben wants to do nothing but lie here with him and find every sweet spot that makes him moan, every gentle touch that brings a cry to his lips. He braces his heels against the mattress, giving a slow roll of his hips that brushes against something sweet deep inside Hux, causing him to cry out and try to repeat the motion.

“Ben,” Hux groans, sweet and breathy, digging his nails into the firm muscles of Ben’s chest. He forgets himself for a moment, so lost in the sensation that he scratches a bit too hard and draws a small bead of crimson blood to the surface of Ben’s skin.

“Ow, shit,” Ben gasps, cock impossibly hard at the edge that the slight pain adds to his pleasure. He opens his eyes, looking up to see Hux watching him with a devastated look on his face.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, it’s just a scratch.” If anything Ben likes it, the bitter-sharp tang of pain flavoring his pleasure. His stomach flips a bit at the stricken look on Hux, reaching up to cup his face. “Are you?”

Hux swallows, eyes dazed as he shakes his head. “No, no, I just…” He leans down, burying his face in the crook of Ben’s neck and taking a shuddering breath. “It just feels so good,” he rasps, resuming the short, rolling motion of his hips that draws Ben deeper and deeper. Soon they’ve found their rhythm, rocking and thrusting together as their mouths meet lazily between.

Ben’s no virgin, but something about Hux makes him feel like a teenager fumbling around in the dark. He wraps a large hand around Hux's length, hungrily drinking in the broken sound Hux makes as he starts to jerk him off. “You're beautiful, you're so fucking beautiful,” he chokes, amber-brown eyes wide as he takes it in. “How are you real?”

“Maybe I'm not,” Hux pants, rocking against him. “Maybe you're still hypnotized.”

Ben finds the focus to scowl. “Don't fuck with me like that.”

Hux laughs breathlessly, and Ben is sure right then and there that he’ll do anything Hux ever asks of him. He changes his angle, gets his feet under him and grips the headboard, starting to ride Ben in earnest. “Ben,” he moans, head tipping back. “You stupid, lovely boy, a-ah!”

Being called stupid is a strange sort of turn on, but he finds that Hux could call him just about anything and he’d get off on it. He twists his wrist, thumbing at the tip of Hux's leaking cock before giving a few hard strokes. “Are you close?” he moans, practically choking on his own desperation. “Come on me, please…”

“Yes, fuck yes…” Hux bites hard into his lower lip, head tossed back and eyes shut tight. One more clever touch of Ben’s hand and he's coming, crying out and spilling into heated skin.

The look in Hux's face sends Ben tumbling over the edge. He moans helplessly, his head spinning as he spills into Hux tight, hot body, digging his heels into the mattress to thrust up frantically. He feels like he's been thrown out it his own body, like he's watching everything from somewhere above the room. It all feels unreal.

Hux strokes his cheek with a trembling hand. “Still with me?” he coos, gasping softly as he catches his breath.

Ben nods, catching the hand and bringing it to his lips to kiss Hux's palm. “Somehow.” He finds the strength in him to remove the condom, tying it off and tossing it in the bin Hux directs him to.

The laugh he earns is somehow better than the sex itself. They twine themselves together on top of the covers, Hux’s skin still so impossibly cold despite their racing hearts and clammy skin. Ben brushes a few sweaty locks of golden red hair out of his eyes, leaning down for a sweet, slow kiss. For the first time he notices the sweet, coppery taste of Hux’s tongue as their mouths work together.

He pulls away. Instead of slowing as their bodies cool, Ben finds his heart racing. “I’m starting to think you’re not human.”

Hux grins, a lazy thing that shows his even white teeth. His eyelids are heavy and his skin is flushed and glowing pink. With a satisfied sound he leans in, drawing his tongue over the steady beat of Ben’s pulse. “Maybe I’m not.”

*

Ben wakes to the sound of his phone buzzing somewhere below the bed. He yawns and leans over the side, groping around until he finds his jeans, digging his cell out of the pocket. With a groan he squints, unlocking the screen and peering at the display.

_where are you???_

_Benjamin call me_

_ITS THREE IN THE MORNING ARE YOU DEAD?_

_im gonna kick your ass ben_

_I am one hour away from calling cops_

_Ben please I’m really starting to get scared please call me._

Ben taps out a brief and bleary-eyed “ _chill_ ” to Rey before flopping back down next to Hux. Deep contentment settles over him as Hux wraps around him, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

“What time is it?” Hux murmurs, nuzzling a kiss just below his ear.

Ben picks his phone back up, squinting. “Holy shit it's five at night!” He jolts up and out of bed, scrambling to pull his clothes on. “Shit I was supposed to work today my boss is going to have my ass.” Panic is such an unpleasant thing to wake up to, his heart pounds in his chest and there’s a nervous prickling at his fingertips and the back of his neck. In his rush to step into his jeans he falls flat on his face, a jumble on the ground with his ass in the air.

There’s movement nearby, followed by footsteps and a cool hand stroking over his back. “Not a bad look,” Hux says, amused. Ben twists his head enough to see him pull on yoga pants and a tank top. “I’ll be right back. Cigarette.” With that explanation he walks outside, snapping the flimsy door to the trailer shut behind him.

Ben sighs, righting himself before sending a text to his boss. He apologize profusely, promises he’ll call to explain as soon as he can, reminds his boss that he’s an ass and an idiot and a myriad of other things. That done, he lets himself focus on dressing, this time not uprooting himself in his rush to be clothed. By the time he heads out to join Hux he’s running a hand through his hair and pulling it up into a tie he’s found tucked into his pocket.

“I think my cousin almost sent the cops for me,” he says, plucking the thin cigarette from Hux’s lips and bringing it to his own. Phasma stands next to Hux, arms folded as she regards him. They both wear expressions of matching solemnity. It occurs to him that he just walked in on the middle of a serious conversation. “What, what’s wrong?”

Hux glances to Phasma before looking to Ben. “We’ve got to go. Today.”

The cigarette falls from Ben’s lips to the dry, unruly grass underfoot. He quickly stubs it out with the tip of his boot. “What, already? I thought the posters said you were here all month?”

“We were supposed to be,” Hux says, clearly tense. “But...something’s come up. People are starting to notice us. Pay close attention. We need to go before they start putting things together.”

“Putting what together?” Ben asks, dumbfounded.

Hux laughs, a cold, mirthless sound. “Do you watch the news, Ben? You’re not a very perceptive boy.”

Ben thinks back to the last few days, to the small snippets of news programs he’s heard and articles he’s scrolled past while checking his Facebook feed. Strange disappearances through the course of the week, a new record in Florida, something like that. With no great care for those lost souls Ben finds himself speaking. He doesn’t think about the words that spill past his lips, or the consequences once they’re out. He just opens his mouth and speaks. “Take me with you.” At Hux’s stunned look he presses on. “You asked me why I hadn’t gone to see the world, why I hadn’t left this town. I told you it’s because I’d never met anyone worth seeing it with. Well, now I have. Show me the world. Show me everything.”

There’s a beat before Phasma reaches forward, squeezing Hux’s shoulder and shaking her head as she walks away.

Hux is looking at Ben like he’s insane. “You barely know me. We fucked once, and you’re ready to leave your life behind for me? You have to know how juvenile that sounds.”

“Yeah well. Sometimes you just know,” Ben insists, tilting in his chin up in what he hopes is a defiant pose. “Call it a gut feeling, but I know that this...this family, whatever it is, this is where I’m supposed to be.”

“Family,” Hux sneers, folding his arms. “You’ve no idea what we are. What you’re walking into.”

Ben meets his eyes, quirking an eyebrow. “Trust me, I have a pretty good idea.” His hands are surprisingly steady as he reaches up, hooking his fingers under the soft white cotton of his shirt and pulling it down to expose more of his throat. “I know what I want. I want this. And I know you want to give it to me.”

“If you do this...if you join us...you can’t come back to your family,” Hux warns. Looking into his eyes is like looking up as the sun streams through a canopy of trees; it’s beautiful, but catch the light just right and it’ll blind you. “You’ll have to change your name.” He takes Ben’s hand in one of his own, grasping his wrist and lightly running his thumb over his pulse. It’s oddly affectionate. Ben shivers.

“That’s fine. I’ll do it. I love Rey, but other than her there’s nothing for me. I’ll do anything.” He can’t help but feel vaguely pathetic as he begs for what he assumes is his own death. His own rebirth. “Don’t leave me here.”

In the blink of an eye he finds himself stretched out flat on the dirt, Hux’s cold body straddling his hips. If anyone were to look in their direction they’d see them in this compromising position, see the way Ben so willingly submits to a man he doesn’t know. Hux smiles, his teeth flashing white in the dusky rays of evening sunlight slicing across them.

“Kylo,” he murmurs, stroking Ben’s cheek. “I think I’ll call you Kylo.” Hux leans in, and bites.

\--

His phone chimes in his pocket, two, three times, four before he finally pulls it out and glances at the screen. Just beyond his hiding place in the wings is the same show he’s seen for months now, the same acts of daring and intrigue that pulled him into this mess in the first place. With a smile and a shake of his head he unlocks the phone and reads the messages.

_ben where the fuck are you?_

_i know you’re alive you still have your read receipts on you prick!_

_{...}_

_i swear i’m gonna find you and i’m gonna kick your ass_

Kylo laughs, finally letting himself type out a quick response. “ _ran off and joined the circus. love you._ ” He tucks the phone back in his pocket. Later he’ll toss it somewhere, maybe in a river, or even the ocean if they travel near it soon. It’s been his last little piece of home, his last connection to the life he left behind. He’s ready to give it up.

There’s thunderous applause as the performance ends, the audience whistling and cheering and making enough noise to wake half the city in their fervor. A minute later a cold hand takes his own, twining their fingers together.

“You know, you really ought to think about joining us out there,” Hux coos. “You’re lovely, the audience would eat you up.”

Kylo snorts, shaking his head. “It’s still too soon. I have a weird face, people will recognize me from the news. Knowing my parents the case is still open, give it more time.’

Hux sighs dramatically. “Very well then. I guess I’ll have to keep enjoying you on my own.” He continues to hold Kylo’s hand. It’s a fairly odd act of affection for him, but one Kylo isn’t going to argue with. They watch the crowds filtering out, their excited voices carrying through the tent as they chatter on about what they’ve seen, their eyes bright and eager and their heartbeats quick. Kylo can hear it.

“What now?” he asks, running his thumb over the back of Hux’s hand absently.

Hux hums softly, eyes heavy lidded as they watch the last couple leave the tent. He turns to Kylo, grinning wide and showing a full mouth of wicked teeth. “Hungry?”


End file.
